Save the Date: Preventing Conflicts with Your Wedding Day

Scheduling conflicts are a regular part of life. We all have experienced it. We schedule a party only to discover that half of those we had intended as guests already have commitments to be somewhere else so you find yourself in the position of either having the celebration without those individuals or you have to reschedule.

But when it comes to your wedding day, rescheduling is rarely an option.

The question then is how do you limit the possibility of conflicts? Of course, the obvious answer is that the earlier you schedule your wedding, the better chance you have of getting on your guests calendar. Easy, right?

Maybe not.

You see, after a certain point - and I can't tell you where that point is because that changes from region to region and social circle to social circle - scheduling earlier is not going to help. For example, most people in my region don't schedule their life activities more than about eight months out, with the exception of vacations, so scheduling your wedding eighteen months in advance is not going to help in terms of your guests being able to attend your wedding.

So what is the key? Simply put, it is communication. The sooner you communicate your wedding date to your planned wedding guests, the more likely they will be able to set the date aside to celebrate with you.

The question is how? The people who specialize in wedding invitations say to send out the invitation six to eight weeks before the wedding. Trust them, sending your actual invitations out too soon can be disasterous. In the summer or for a holiday wedding, send them out closer to eight weeks in advance.

But that only highlights the problem. How do you communicate your wedding date to the friends and family that you would like at your wedding without sending you wedding invitations out way too soon?

• Drive to each individual's house and talk to them and hope that they write it down.
• Call all of your future guests and tell them your wedding date and that they will be invited and hope they don't forget.
• Write a personal letter to each of your friends and family members telling them about your wedding date and hope they don't loose your letter.
• Send out 'Save the Date' cards.

I like the 'Save the Date' cards more and more as our world gets crazier. I especially like the magnetic 'Save the Date' cards because, not only can you find them in virtually any style to match your developing wedding theme such as beach, lily, fairytale or... but being magnetic your guests can keep your reminder card on a convenient place such as a refrigerator door.

How soon should you send out the 'Save the Date' announcements? Again, that depends on your situation. In some situations you might be able to send them out as late as four months before the wedding. If your circle is really busy or if you have friends and relatives coming in from across the country, then I would recommend you send out your chosen 'Save the Date' cards at least six months. If you have people coming from other countries more time might be needed for your guests to be able to 'Save the Date' for your wedding.

Read this Before You Buy Your Wedding Invitations

Have you stopped to think about the hidden danger in your wedding invitations?

Your wedding invitations are a key part of your wedding plan. They will serve you well in announcing not only the time and place of your wedding celebration but also help to announce (if subtly) whether your wedding is a formal or informal event.

But... there is a hidden danger in wedding invitations that are often not considered until it's too late to do anything about except grin and bear it.

What is that danger? Simply this. Most invitations have to go through the postal system which means that not only do you have the paper and printing costs associated with invitations, but you also have postage costs.

And that's the problem. You see when we buy wedding invitations we expect postage, but we often don't think of the extra postage that comes with unusual shaped and sized invitations. And even if we do we often discount the thought as only being a few cents, but over your entire mailing list those few cents can turn into a lot of money you could have spent on your cake - or honeymoon!

So how do you protect yourself? Simply this: You can protect yourself by making up a sample of your intended invitation design and taking it down to the post office to find out exactly what each invitation will cost to mail before you commit yourself to that design.

Do it. It's worth the effort, even if you are pretty sure your wedding invitations are a standard size it is better to take the time to bring your sample along next time you have to run to the post office than to find out a week after you finally got them out that the post office is returning them for insufficient postage! That could really throw your schedule out of wack, not to mention what it might do to your wedding budget!

How Weddings and Funerals Really are Alike

Well, I'm back. Sort of... Grief is like a wedding, the event is only the beginning. In the case of a wedding it's all about growing the relationship and creating something that is as beautiful (or more beautiful) as the wedding itself. Grief is about cleaning and healing the wound afterwards - but even that is something like a wedding, because in the end we all want to see stronger, healthier relationships as a result of our efforts and experiences.

This One Wedding Tip Can Save You a Lot of Grief!

Speaking of grief ... due to a family tragedy I will be silent for a few days. I will be back soon so check back next week. In the mean time, if you are looking for wedding planning tips and / or ideas for your wedding or reception be sure to check out my Fun Wedding Ideas! page. There's everything from info about managing the stress of your wedding day to how to actually make a themed wedding work, to creating real drama in your wedding ceremony. Of course there you can check the earlier postings on this blog as well.

Of course, I can't take off without leaving you with a quick tip about planning your wedding:

I thought I'd tell you about one thing today that just might keep a lot of hair in your head as your big day approaches. In this case it's a book. Yes, a book.

You see, as we've discussed before, weddings are generally considered to be a woman's world. The problem is that weddings demand a groom - and in most cases that means a man.

So you can help yourself by getting your groom a book that prepares him to graciously meet the demands of the wedding day. This book is essentially a leather bound 'cheat sheet' to help him be the courteous groom you've always dreamed of throughout the wedding planning process and especially on the big day.

It's called, "The Grooms Guide," by Marguerita Smolen and it's available now through the wedding essentials page of our website.

50th Wedding Anniversary Cake Topper Ideas

The 50th wedding anniversary cake topper is an important part of any golden wedding anniversary celebration. You will want it to not only reflect the celebration but the couple who is celebrating it. Reaching the 50th wedding anniversary is a big deal, so you want a special celebration and a special 50th wedding anniversary cake topper is a great place to start.

Some ideas for the 50th anniversary cake topper include having a replica cake and topper of their original wedding. Inquire to see what type of cake they had on for their original wedding and inquire as to whether there are any photographs of their wedding cake available. If this is not possible ask the couple if they can provide a description of their wedding cake and top in as much detail as possible. With right description it should be no problem to find a bakery to recreate that special day with a copy of the couple's original wedding cake.

There is of course the option of the traditional 50th wedding anniversary cake topper of a golden number 50. Many couples go with this for their anniversary celebration but if that just isn't for you, use some imagination to make it unique.

There are many options to choose from for the 50th wedding anniversary cake topper. You can choose anything from the number 50 made with a floral arrangement to crystal jewelry cake toppers. Wishing wells and a wide variety of porcelain cake tops are often a good choice for a fiftieth anniversary cake, but do not overlook all the beautiful options available with acrylic! Truly, any number of options can represent the 50th wedding anniversary; the choice is really up to you. The important thing, however, is that the cake topper should represent the couple and their life together.

With today's modern technology it is simple enough to...

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Laxatives, Weight Loss, and The Bride

Laxatives and weight loss often appear to be a solution to a young bride’s weight loss difficulties but it is certainly not a good solution. As with many other weight-loss techniques those promoting such a course of action are certainly not giving the best possible advice because using laxatives and weight loss can actually cause you to become nutritionally deficient as the laxatives will not allow your body to get sufficient nutrients out of the food that you're eating.

True, there are people who do have trouble with digestion and constipation. And it is true that the buildup of waste in your system can result in weight gain but turning to laxatives for weight loss are not the way to solve this problem.

Instead, look at your diet and see what types of food you are eating and whether you are having too much junk food and not enough fiber. The easiest way of doing this is to keep a food journal for a week and record everything you put in your mouth.

Increasing your fiber will help you to eliminate waste more easily and having a better digestive system will reduce the amount of toxins that will build up in your body and this can help your body to remain at a more optimum weight level.

If you have a good diet that has a reasonable amount of fiber then in most cases you will not have any need to be concerned with laxatives and weight loss.

Fortunately, there is a better way than turning to laxatives for weight loss. It is a controlled, well planned system that is based on how the human body works. If you are a bride that is truly interested in weight loss before your wedding, you owe it to yourself to check it out. That way you can save the laxatives for constipation.

How to use "Tea Lights" when Open Flame are Not Allowed

Want to use tea light candles to mark your path or adorn the tables in your reception? Tea light candles in a darkened reception hall or just after sunset at the beach can create an almost magical effect that will create an amazing amount of ambiance without costing you a lot of money. But what do you do if the facility (or the state) you are using says no to open flames?

It is not an uncommon problem.

As buildings get older and people become more aware of the risks posed by open flames it is getting harder and harder to fine a facility that will allow open flames. As a matter of fact in the Western half of the United States where the summers have low humidity it is getting harder and harder to find a park that will allow open flames from anything, including from a tea light candle.

The reason is simple: An open flame from a tea light (or any other kind of candle) always runs the risk of fire - something that could ruin an otherwise wonderful evening and cause much unnecessary damage.

Want to use tea lights at your beach wedding or your evening wedding at your favorite mountainside park, but nothing you try protects them from being blown out by the breeze coming off of the water or mountains? You could try having all of your friends and family lining the aisle while they cup the candles with their hands, but that would not be very fun for them and it just might be dangerous for someone who is not paying close enough attention.

So what is the solution? If tea lights are too dangerous or impractical do you have to just leave them out of your wedding plans?

Not anymore. Simply use...

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A Fun Tool to Save You a Ton of Wedding Planning Time

It really is an incredibly useful tool. By using this one single tool you will find your self more prepared to plan each step of your wedding as the time comes.

What is this tool?

Scrap booking!

You read that right. Create a scrapbook of wedding ideas from pictures that you find... wherever you find them.

• If you attend a wedding and see something you like, take a snapshot of it, then print the picture out when you get home and put it in your wedding planning scrapbook.
• When you see that perfect piece of crystal jewelry for your wedding cake, print out a picture and put it in your scrapbook to show your pastry chef so they can incorporate it into the design of the cake.
• If you see a picture of a wedding dress in a magazine, get a copy and put it in your scrapbook.
• If you find a picture of a bouquet on the Internet print it out and put it in your scrapbook.
• The same can be said for your wedding footwear or unity candles.

That way when you get to time to plan any particular aspect of your wedding you aren't wasting time looking for that picture of... and your wedding professional will actually be able to see exactly what you have in mind. It saves a lot of time and difficulty. And it's fun too!

Now you have an excuse to play! Have fun.

Go to the Head of the Class with a Crystal Apple Paperweight

A perfect gift for any occasion.

This lead free crystal apple paperweight is a great gift for the teacher in your life. Is one of your bridesmaids a teacher or studying to be a teacher? Then this is a perfect bridesmaids gift.

Is one of the groomsmen in you party a teacher? This crystal apple paperweight makes a great groomsman's gift as well!

It would make a great corporate gift too - especially for your corporate training staff! It's a gift that shows that you honor the value they bring to your company.

Looking for a gift for a William Tell themed celebration? Consider these crystal apple paperweights.

Planning a wedding in an apple orchard? These would make perfect keepsake gifts for all of your bridal party regardless of their occupation.

Like most of our crystal wedding favors and gifts, this elegant paperweight can be personalized with names, dates, or simply a short message to make it the perfect keepsake for whoever you choose to give it to. Of course, if an apple a day keeps the doctor away, you might want to pick a crystal apple paperweight up for yourself too!

More information about the Crystal Apple Paperweight

How to Fit Winter Wedding Favors to Your Wedding Reception

The ideal winter wedding favors will embrace a particular part of the season. For example, one glance at a miniature snow globe favor and the viewer is reminded of the fun of a snow filled winter's day when loved ones can play together in the freshly fallen snow. Those are happy times filled with mittens, scarves, boots, coats, snowball fights, snowmen and women, hot chocolate, and warm bowls of soup.

Thus, by its very nature, the perfect winter wedding favors can suggest a specific wedding theme if your plans are not filled out, or embrace one if your plans are already established. For the purpose of illustration, I will use the miniature snow globe wedding favor to show how much a single choice can fill out and effect your decor options.

Whimsical Winter Wedding Reception

One theme suggested by these snow globe winter wedding favor is the whimsical aspects of the day. As a result, the wedding reception decorations might focus on snowmen and women - amazingly easy to find right now - and snowflake party favors along with snowballs. As such, you might have an ice sculpture of a snowman, woman, rabbit, bear, or... in the middle of your reception area or on the buffet table with compatible decorations on the perimeter of the reception hall. On each of the tables use a frosted glass ball with a lit tea light or votive candle inside for a simple centerpiece with snowflake confetti sprinkled on the table.

Historically Themed Winter Wedding Reception

A less obvious suggestion from this winter wedding favor - miniature snow globe favors - is to embrace the tradition of ...

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Ten Wedding Disaster Prevention Tips: Part Four

Well, here we are with wedding disaster prevention tips numbers seven through ten. But don't let the fact that the last four are brief lull you to sleep. Each on of these tips has the potential to head off major disasters in your wedding.

• Spread the Love: Delegate, delegate, delegate. Teach yourself to accept help from loved ones. Don't try to do it all yourself. Trying to do it all yourself is a sure way to create a wedding day disaster – even before your wedding day! But that’s not all. You can prevent a wedding day disaster by recuiting more than one other person to do the things that you can’t do. Imagine arriving at your reception hall only to discover that the decorations were half finished because the job was just too big for your Aunt Betty! Yikes.
  
• Have a Sense of Humor: One of your greatest defenses against a wedding day disaster is a good sense of humor. It not only softens the blow of a less than perfect day, but it turns that event that otherwise might frustrate you and ruin your wedding into sugar and spice making it more memorable than ever – if you can laugh at it. It’s like the older woman who has to wear a wig. Eventually the wig will come off in public. If she is mortified, it is a horrible experience that no one wants to remember, but if she can laugh about it the experience turns positive for everyone.
  
• Limit Alcohol: Alcohol has been a part of celebrating for as far back into history as we can look, but I doubt even one adult in our culture has not seen the effects of a celebration ruined by alcohol. Truly, alcohol has played a part in wedding day disasters far too many times over the years. The accounts are everything from brides too drunk to exchange the vows, to grooms under the influence straying from his new vows, to drunk and obnoxious guests. I even have a vague memory of a drunk guest stumbling into the bride and ripping the bottom half of her dress off!
  
  How you limit the alcohol is up to you. Maybe you only serve bubbly with dinner and do away with the open bar. Some choose to not allow the bar to open at all until after the cake is cut and the bride and groom and preparing to make their departure. Some choose not to serve alcohol at all. Be wise, consider the people in your wedding party and look for a way that is most likely to prevent a wedding day disaster.
  
• Focus on Your Marriage: Taking the long view of things is your final tip to prevent wedding day disasters. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in planning your wedding that you forget all about the marriage or somehow assume that you can work on that after the wedding day is finished. But remember this: Just like any living thing, if your relationship is not growing then it is dying. Be sure to find ways to use the wedding planning stages of your engagement period to build your marriage. To do otherwise and end up celebrating an essentially dead relationship would truly be a wedding day disaster!

Ten Wedding Disaster Prevention Tips: Part Three

Tips five and six of your ten wedding disaster prevention tips are wide ranging, but at the same time key to heading off common problems that brides and grooms encounter as they mount the biggest event of their lives.

• Resist Perfectionism: There is no quicker way to a wedding day disaster than to allow the insidious strains of perfectionism to control you. At best it will ruin your wedding day and it has been known to plant the seeds that will ultimately destroy the very thing you are celebrating in your wedding - your marriage.
  
  No, there is nothing wrong with hoping that your big day is perfect, but do not demand it. That is foolish and it's the qickest route I know to "bridezilla". Neither you, nor your groom, nor your family, nor friends are perfect. It is not wise to demand that any of you be perfect, even for a second much less an entire day. Besides, it is the quirks we find in each other that allows us to feel comfortable with each other. Enjoy each other, quirks and all while you celebrate your new marriage. If you can do this you will nearly disaster proof your wedding because if something goes wrong it won't bother you.
  
• Make Backup Plans: Redundancy is at the core of any disaster planning - even wedding day disasters. Simply put the best way to ensure that you don’t have a major disaster on your hands is to have a back up plan in the event that something does go wrong.
  
  For example, choose a venue that can give you an alternative option in the event the people renting the venue on the evening before you set off the sprinkler system. This can be a second room or possibly a garden or courtyard.
  
  An even more likely example is an outdoor wedding. If you are scheduling an outdoor wedding you have probably taken weather into consideration when you chose your dates - but what are you going to do about the possibility that the weather may still not cooperate? What about other things that could threaten that gorgeous wedding cake you commissioned? That could truly be a wedding day disaster unless you have back up plans.

Ten Wedding Disaster Prevention Tips: Part 2

Today’s wedding day disaster prevention tip has to do with you and how you relate to the people around you. Simply put it is this: Don't give other people power over your wedding. The wedding celebration is something that you and your husband will have to look back on for years as 'your big day'. To everyone else, it is a celebration. Letting anyone other than yourself and your husband-to-be dictate what your wedding day will look like is a sure fire way to make your wedding day a total disaster.

In numerous societies around the world the wedding is as much a rite of passage as it is a celebration. If you have not done so already take advantage of this opportunity to establish your independence and start with the wedding planning process. To do otherwise is to invite a wedding day disaster – if only because your memories will be of a celebration that didn’t have your fingerprints on it. But how do you prevent giving others too much power over your wedding?

The Problems Leading to Such Wedding Day Disasters:

Relatives that hold your wedding for ransom: Far too often the individual footing the bill tries to use the purse strings as a method of controlling your celebration. It is your celebration. If someone is only willing to give you the money as long as you will plan it their way, do not take the money. You would be better off with a simple ceremony in a nice dress and suit standing on the shore of a local lake followed by a campfire with a handful of friends than to give in to anyone that wants to hold your wedding ransom.

The Urge to be a People Pleaser: Far too often a young couple will subjugate their desires to please others. Often it is an older sister who is pressuring the bride to include a specific element such as a particular style of bridesmaids’ dresses. Often well intentioned mothers try to guide their daughters based on what florists & pastry chefs were capable of twenty some years earlier. But sisters and mothers are not the only offenders. Girlfriends are sometimes guilty of trying to subconsciously create or test out their own wedding ideas on your wedding.

Solution: Preventing Wedding Day Disasters

Regardless of the reason for the pressure, most young couples feel pressure to build their wedding celebration in a way that is not of their own choosing. Resist the urge to give in. It does not matter how well intentioned the individual is or is not. You need to plan your wedding in a manner that is, (1) in keeping with who you are, and (2) in keeping with the money (without strings) that you have to spend.

• Dream with Your Husband-To-Be: Do a little dreaming. Decide what you would like.
  
• Investigate the Cost of Your Dream Wedding: Then do some investigation to find out how much each wedding professional will cost as well as the total cost of the wedding. You don't want your wedding to be a disaster simply because you didn't budget well.
  
• Prioritize: If you do not have an unlimited budget (and who of us do?) then decide what elements are the most important and which are the least important. Then make your purchases. Spend your money on the dress, if that is most important, and choose an inexpensive venue or do away with the reception dinner all together, or the band, or the d.j., or the cake, or the…
  
  Yes, the interpersonal aspects can get messy. There is no denying that. And it is easy to fear that your refusal to give into pressure will lead to a wedding day disaster of a pushy loved one giving you the cold shoulder or worse on your big day. But the more likely scenario is that giving in invites just such a disaster in terms of a marred wedding memory when just a mature attitude and a little bit of planning are all you really need to both get the wedding you want and get most of the pressure off your back.

Ten Wedding Disaster Prevention Tips

We've all heard stories of wedding disasters. They are stories of stress meltdowns as a result of a lack of aspirin or hair clips when they are needed, over bearing relatives, uncooperative weather, or...? Such accounts are the stuff of morning personality radio shows, magazine articles, and more. But most wedding day disasters can be managed with an ounce of prevention.

1. Focus on the Celebration: It is easy to allow yourself to get so wrapped up in staging a wedding that you forget that apart from the legal aspects of the ceremony, the wedding is more about celebrating the beginning of your new life together than it is creating a perfect day. It is a party. Let yourself enjoy the celebration. If you have a wedding day disaster, if something falls over, prevent it from becoming a major catastrophe by laughing at it as if you had just seen the same incident on America's Funniest Home Videos.
   
2. Designate Contact People: On your wedding day you cannot be in all places at all times, yet there are always a thousand little details that you will not have anticipated or at least have not adequately communicated. That is just the way big productions like weddings are. So the next wedding disaster prevention tip is, if you choose not to use a wedding planner, to designate specific contact people to help coordinate your wedding day. Share with each one of them your vision of how your wedding in their specific area and then be gracious with the decisions they make. Be sure to have one in the area of the reception for the pastry chef and florist to contact, another in charge of the ceremony for the florist and clergy to touch base with, and another responsible for the photography (choose someone who knows everyone in your party and who can and will track down missing family members at the bare minimum).
   
3. Wedding Day Survival Kit: Borrow, build, or buy one. The stress of the wedding day is notorious for creating scenarios where a melt down is triggered by something as trivial as lost bobby pins or the unexpected need for a seam ripper, or needle and thread, super glue, safety pins, earring backs, deodorant, etc. These are all items you will need eventually anyway so you won't be wasting money by investing now in a wedding day survival kit to prevent a wedding day disaster.
   
   Come back for Part 2 of "Ten Wedding Disaster Prevention Tips"

Creating a Memorable Wedding Celebration

Gina and David (not their real names) had a traditional Catholic wedding. That was important to them. But they also wanted a way to create a memorable wedding celebration.

They succeeded - big time.

You see, I was a guest in that wedding. I sat in the congregation and watched all of the pageantry of their tradition with the interest of a friend to whom their tradition meant little.

To this day I remember very little of the traditional part of their ceremony. I couldn't tell you what the priest looked like or what exactly he wore. I don’t know if the church was full or empty. I don't remember the wedding favors or the wedding cake topper. I remember a beautiful dress on a gorgeous bride standing next to her tall, dark, husband-to-be in his tuxedo as essentially the same nuptial ceremony I had seen in every wedding droned on.

I do remember, though, this one thing they did to set their wedding apart from every other wedding: They had taken the time to...

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Wedding Jewelry: Understanding Diamond Weights

In order to be sure that we make a wise purchase when we buy our wedding jewelry it is necessary that we understand diamond weights. Without understanding this most basic element of the precious stone markets like diamond weights the likelihood that we will overpay is much greater. Conversely, by understanding this single issue we will be more equipped to know what we are looking at and how to ask the right questions.

Most all of us know that diamonds are measured in carat weight (also sometimes spelled karat and will be used interchangeably in this article). What most of us don't know is what that means. What is a karat? How does a carat relate to a measurement that most of us can relate to?
Put simply, one karat weighs 200 milligrams.

It is the tradition of the market that prevents us from weighing diamonds in terms of milligrams. No doubt if diamonds were initially discovered in the last twenty years we would, but diamonds have been with us for a long time so we use the term carats (karats).

Carats

The word carat comes from...

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The Key to Planning Your Big Day

What is the key to planning your big day? Is it finding the perfect wedding dress? Perhaps it is scoring the top wedding photographer in town at discount prices. Or maybe it would be finding a pastry chef skilled enough to create that wedding cake that you have been dreaming of for years. Actually, while all of those things can be important elements in the planning of your big day none of them are the key.

Most will tell you the key is organization. But most are wrong. When it comes to wedding planning, organization is the key to keeping a full head of hair. It is essential, but it is not the key to wedding planning.

Others say that the key to planning your big day is dreaming. Once again, those who advocate for dreaming as the single most important aspect in planning a nuptial celebration have grabbed onto an extremely important element in wedding planning. Without taking the time to dream and envision what your wedding might look like there is no way that you could ever come up with a plan to build your wedding day around.

Actually, the key to planning your big day is ...

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How to Say 'No' to Wedding Gifts

It is a difficult question - how to say 'no' to wedding gifts - and there is no perfect answer. Your friends and loved ones naturally want to give you a token of their love and support as you begin your new life together as man and wife. But what is a couple, such as an older or more affluent couple, to do who has no need for another crystal memory book and matching paperweights to do? How do they say 'no' to wedding gifts?

The most common approach is to simply include a note in the invitation which says, in effect, 'no wedding gifts please' This approach has achieved mixed results. Some newly married couples have found their guests have complied with their requests. Others have been surprised to find how often their request has been ignored.

The problem with this approach to saying 'no' to wedding gifts is that it ignores the felt needs of the guest. As stated earlier, our friends and loved ones naturally want to give a tangible gesture of their support for your new life together. As such, it is wise to seek a way to allow them an outlet without giving in on your principles or making yourself look like a gold digger - like couples who have their wedding guests donate to mortgage funds and the like often end up appearing.

One answer is to give your guests a...

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