Announcements, Invitations, and Email? Oh My!

When a new couple decide to tie the knot it is natural to want to share their good news with the entire world. But how to do it? Are there drawbacks and hazards to be avoided? We are all fallible, but would it not be nice to have some measure of confidence that in our enthusiasm we are not creating problems for ourselves to be dealt with as the wedding grows closer?

But how do you avoid it? How do you avoid having someone thinking that you were inviting them to the wedding when your intent was to merely announce your good news? In life there are never any guarantees, especially when we deal with human relationships, but we can limit the possibility of hurt feelings and confusion by breaking the process of communication regarding your wedding with your friends and loved ones to these elements:

• Announcement: When you first decide to get married make your engagement announcement, but keep it informal. Communicate with your friends and family the same way you would a major accomplishment. Call them on the telephone. Make the rounds and announce in person. Send an email.

In your announcement be clear. You are sharing your joy. Details will be decided later, but you at least wanted to share your exciting news directly with them.

• Save the Date Cards: These are becoming a must have in today's world. So many people live such busy lives that they just cannot be expected to plan to attend your wedding on simply a few weeks notice. Likewise, for those with guests who will have to travel more than a couple hundred miles, save the date cards enable you to give them notice in plenty of time for them to plan (and budget) for a trip to your wedding. And for those who choose to marry during the holidays or on long weekends when people often plan trips months in advance a save the date card is the only way your wedding is likely to fit into their schedule.

Mail Save the Date cards approximately five months before your wedding unless significant travel is required. In such circumstances eight to nine months prior to the wedding is not unreasonable.

Often made of a magnetized material so that your intended guest can keep it on their refrigerator, Save the Date cards are intended to be sent to those who are actually on your guest list. This tells them that they will, indeed, be receiving an invitation.

Fortunately, today's save the date cards come in a wide variety of styles so they can not only inform your guests of the planned date of your wedding but they also can give them a hint of your chosen style or theme.

• Invitations: Most experts agree that invitations should be placed in the mail about six weeks prior to the actual wedding date. The exception is for destination weddings or invitations that have to travel overseas. In such cases as early as three months prior to the wedding date is not unreasonable.
• Wedding Websites: These can be a great tool for communicating the latest developing wedding news with your guests. Include maps, online RSVP's, local information (including weather in many cases), hotel information, and even post pictures as your wedding planning continues.

Of course, some couples organize their wedding much quicker than these time lines allow. That is their prerogative. Adjust as you can. Just understand that some who would otherwise like to attend the wedding will not be able to attend because of the realities of life. That's the way life works.

Save the Date: Preventing Conflicts with Your Wedding Day

Scheduling conflicts are a regular part of life. We all have experienced it. We schedule a party only to discover that half of those we had intended as guests already have commitments to be somewhere else so you find yourself in the position of either having the celebration without those individuals or you have to reschedule.

But when it comes to your wedding day, rescheduling is rarely an option.

The question then is how do you limit the possibility of conflicts? Of course, the obvious answer is that the earlier you schedule your wedding, the better chance you have of getting on your guests calendar. Easy, right?

Maybe not.

You see, after a certain point - and I can't tell you where that point is because that changes from region to region and social circle to social circle - scheduling earlier is not going to help. For example, most people in my region don't schedule their life activities more than about eight months out, with the exception of vacations, so scheduling your wedding eighteen months in advance is not going to help in terms of your guests being able to attend your wedding.

So what is the key? Simply put, it is communication. The sooner you communicate your wedding date to your planned wedding guests, the more likely they will be able to set the date aside to celebrate with you.

The question is how? The people who specialize in wedding invitations say to send out the invitation six to eight weeks before the wedding. Trust them, sending your actual invitations out too soon can be disasterous. In the summer or for a holiday wedding, send them out closer to eight weeks in advance.

But that only highlights the problem. How do you communicate your wedding date to the friends and family that you would like at your wedding without sending you wedding invitations out way too soon?

• Drive to each individual's house and talk to them and hope that they write it down.
• Call all of your future guests and tell them your wedding date and that they will be invited and hope they don't forget.
• Write a personal letter to each of your friends and family members telling them about your wedding date and hope they don't loose your letter.
• Send out 'Save the Date' cards.

I like the 'Save the Date' cards more and more as our world gets crazier. I especially like the magnetic 'Save the Date' cards because, not only can you find them in virtually any style to match your developing wedding theme such as beach, lily, fairytale or... but being magnetic your guests can keep your reminder card on a convenient place such as a refrigerator door.

How soon should you send out the 'Save the Date' announcements? Again, that depends on your situation. In some situations you might be able to send them out as late as four months before the wedding. If your circle is really busy or if you have friends and relatives coming in from across the country, then I would recommend you send out your chosen 'Save the Date' cards at least six months. If you have people coming from other countries more time might be needed for your guests to be able to 'Save the Date' for your wedding.