Save the Date: Preventing Conflicts with Your Wedding Day

Scheduling conflicts are a regular part of life. We all have experienced it. We schedule a party only to discover that half of those we had intended as guests already have commitments to be somewhere else so you find yourself in the position of either having the celebration without those individuals or you have to reschedule.

But when it comes to your wedding day, rescheduling is rarely an option.

The question then is how do you limit the possibility of conflicts? Of course, the obvious answer is that the earlier you schedule your wedding, the better chance you have of getting on your guests calendar. Easy, right?

Maybe not.

You see, after a certain point - and I can't tell you where that point is because that changes from region to region and social circle to social circle - scheduling earlier is not going to help. For example, most people in my region don't schedule their life activities more than about eight months out, with the exception of vacations, so scheduling your wedding eighteen months in advance is not going to help in terms of your guests being able to attend your wedding.

So what is the key? Simply put, it is communication. The sooner you communicate your wedding date to your planned wedding guests, the more likely they will be able to set the date aside to celebrate with you.

The question is how? The people who specialize in wedding invitations say to send out the invitation six to eight weeks before the wedding. Trust them, sending your actual invitations out too soon can be disasterous. In the summer or for a holiday wedding, send them out closer to eight weeks in advance.

But that only highlights the problem. How do you communicate your wedding date to the friends and family that you would like at your wedding without sending you wedding invitations out way too soon?

• Drive to each individual's house and talk to them and hope that they write it down.
• Call all of your future guests and tell them your wedding date and that they will be invited and hope they don't forget.
• Write a personal letter to each of your friends and family members telling them about your wedding date and hope they don't loose your letter.
• Send out 'Save the Date' cards.

I like the 'Save the Date' cards more and more as our world gets crazier. I especially like the magnetic 'Save the Date' cards because, not only can you find them in virtually any style to match your developing wedding theme such as beach, lily, fairytale or... but being magnetic your guests can keep your reminder card on a convenient place such as a refrigerator door.

How soon should you send out the 'Save the Date' announcements? Again, that depends on your situation. In some situations you might be able to send them out as late as four months before the wedding. If your circle is really busy or if you have friends and relatives coming in from across the country, then I would recommend you send out your chosen 'Save the Date' cards at least six months. If you have people coming from other countries more time might be needed for your guests to be able to 'Save the Date' for your wedding.