Today’s wedding day disaster prevention tip has to do with you and how you relate to the people around you. Simply put it is this: Don't give other people power over your wedding. The wedding celebration is something that you and your husband will have to look back on for years as 'your big day'. To everyone else, it is a celebration. Letting anyone other than yourself and your husband-to-be dictate what your wedding day will look like is a sure fire way to make your wedding day a total disaster.
In numerous societies around the world the wedding is as much a rite of passage as it is a celebration. If you have not done so already take advantage of this opportunity to establish your independence and start with the wedding planning process. To do otherwise is to invite a wedding day disaster – if only because your memories will be of a celebration that didn’t have your fingerprints on it. But how do you prevent giving others too much power over your wedding?
The Problems Leading to Such Wedding Day Disasters:
Relatives that hold your wedding for ransom: Far too often the individual footing the bill tries to use the purse strings as a method of controlling your celebration. It is your celebration. If someone is only willing to give you the money as long as you will plan it their way, do not take the money. You would be better off with a simple ceremony in a nice dress and suit standing on the shore of a local lake followed by a campfire with a handful of friends than to give in to anyone that wants to hold your wedding ransom.
The Urge to be a People Pleaser: Far too often a young couple will subjugate their desires to please others. Often it is an older sister who is pressuring the bride to include a specific element such as a particular style of bridesmaids’ dresses. Often well intentioned mothers try to guide their daughters based on what florists & pastry chefs were capable of twenty some years earlier. But sisters and mothers are not the only offenders. Girlfriends are sometimes guilty of trying to subconsciously create or test out their own wedding ideas on your wedding.
Solution: Preventing Wedding Day Disasters
Regardless of the reason for the pressure, most young couples feel pressure to build their wedding celebration in a way that is not of their own choosing. Resist the urge to give in. It does not matter how well intentioned the individual is or is not. You need to plan your wedding in a manner that is, (1) in keeping with who you are, and (2) in keeping with the money (without strings) that you have to spend.
- Dream with Your Husband-To-Be: Do a little dreaming. Decide what you would like.
- Investigate the Cost of Your Dream Wedding: Then do some investigation to find out how much each wedding professional will cost as well as the total cost of the wedding. You don't want your wedding to be a disaster simply because you didn't budget well.
- Prioritize: If you do not have an unlimited budget (and who of us do?) then decide what elements are the most important and which are the least important. Then make your purchases. Spend your money on the dress, if that is most important, and choose an inexpensive venue or do away with the reception dinner all together, or the band, or the d.j., or the cake, or the…
Yes, the interpersonal aspects can get messy. There is no denying that. And it is easy to fear that your refusal to give into pressure will lead to a wedding day disaster of a pushy loved one giving you the cold shoulder or worse on your big day. But the more likely scenario is that giving in invites just such a disaster in terms of a marred wedding memory when just a mature attitude and a little bit of planning are all you really need to both get the wedding you want and get most of the pressure off your back.
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