The Value in Planning Your Wedding Budget

Depending on who you listen to, recent estimates tell us that the average North American couple spends more than $22,000 (and many estimates place the total north of $26,000!) on the wedding ceremony and reception alone. That is great - if the individuals have the money for such a wedding budget. With that amount of money they could do so very much more than most brides ever achieve in while designing their dream wedding, but if they don't have the money...

Or if they have the money but could make better use of it some other way... To buy that first house... to start a college fund for the children... to have a more memorable honeymoon... to start a business... whatever the reason!

Can you have a gorgeous, memorable wedding for less?

Absolutely.

All that is required is a little research, a bit of time prioritizing, and some planning for a dream wedding to come together that is truly as unique as the people involved.

Why?

Simply because most brides simply gather rather than plan and end up purchasing elements that do not really fit the wedding they are putting together. Likewise, by not understanding how the wedding industry works they end up paying too much.

Towards that end I am currently working to polish a book on how each element of the wedding industry works. I wanted it too be finished by now, but alas...

I'll let you know as soon as it is ready. Check back soon.

In the meantime, here are some simple suggestions to save money when planning a wedding:

• Reduce the number of guests
• Limit the number of attendants
• Use grazing stations filled with favorite delicacies instead of a sit-down dinner
• Have an alcohol -free receptions. If you have to have bar, have a cash bar, or close the bar during dinner
• Consider an off-season wedding (November through April) to reduce costs for the reception site (venue)
• Consider having your wedding on any day other than Saturday to reduce costs for the reception site

There is nothing wrong with wanting to mount a wedding that all will look back on with fondness. At the same time there is everything right with being wise in the use of your wedding budget.

I'm Dreamin...

Of untracked snow this Christmas morn... Family and loved ones nearby... Oh, and romantic engagement stories.

The holiday season, for whatever reason, is perhaps the most prolific engagement season of the year. And why not. There is something magical about this time of year as we come together to celebrate.

If you are the expectant bride what is there to do? He has already purchased the ring or he hasn't at this point, so what is there to do since you don't want to put any money down on plans until everything is official?

The answer? Dream. Prioritize. A good wedding is put together not by collecting all the traditional elements -that just leads to too much money spent on a wedding that is just like every other wedding in the bride's community - but by considering how to customize the wedding to fit their unique setting, values, and personality.

One idea that bears consideration: For most people their loved ones are scattered over a wide swath of the world. Consider scheduling the wedding in such a way that you can have a second, more intimate gathering after the reception or a day or two before the wedding. My brother-in-law did this. He rented a local coffee shop for both sides of the family to get together the day before the wedding for a special family Christmas celebration (He was married just before Christmas). It was a nice touch. Most likely he will never have both sides of the family together again and as such it made the entire event memorable.

Green Wedding Odd's & Ends

As I wrap up this series on greening your wedding plans I find myself with a couple final suggestions that could make a significant contribution to your efforts to use less resources while maintaining a beautifully memorable wedding celebration.

• Something Borrowed, Something Blue…: Well something borrowed anyway… Borrowing Grandma’s, Mom’s, or big Sis’ wedding dress makes a lot of sense, both for your budget and world wide resources – especially since you only wear the dress one time.
• Hire a string quartet or singer and accompanist to provide music: Yes, I have touched on this one before, but I believe this bears consideration. After all, little will do more to add a touch of class and elegance to a wedding reception than a live sting quartet or swing band (acoustic) besides, a disc jockey and all his equipment uses a lot of electricity. A string quartet or a singer with a piano player (acoustic) requires no more electricity than enough light to allow them to see their music – if they even need sheet music.
• Go paperless: Create a wedding website and use electronic invitations. This can save you money as well as limiting the natural resources you use - both on the invitations and on the postage! Besides, it is a great way to get your groom-to-be to take over significant parts of your wedding preparations!

Really, just like every other part of wedding planning, the act of planning a green wedding can be beneficial - and not only because it will respect the world's resources more, but because it forces each bride to reconsider each element of the wedding day and decide what is most important to her. That is what will make a memorable day.

Crystals of Winter and Early Spring Weddings

I'm sitting by my window looking out as the snow swirls - just in time for Christmas - drinking hot chocolate and thinking about wedding plans. The sun sparkling off the snow crystals... so beautiful.

For brides planning a winter wedding, how about a ski lodge motif? Or perhaps an ice castle design? Many have had success using a color scheme of silver and blues accented with snowflake themed wedding favors and crystal wedding cake jewelry like flowers of ice adorning the cake.

Want some fun for your winter wedding reception? Try renting a spotlight and a fog machine and have the fog rolling in and the lights dimmed just before you make your big entrance at the reception highlighted by the wash of the spotlight.

For brides planning an early spring wedding who do not already have their venue, why not consider renting a ski lodge after the ski season is over? There is just something magical about looking out on the snow - and it is even better with the sun reflecting off the snow.

In the meantime, sit back with a cup of steaming hot chocolate and watch the crystals of snow dance as you think through all the details of what will make your winter wedding unique.

Greening Your Wedding: Think Light

Daylight, that is. God supplies us plenty of lighting through the sun - especially during the traditional wedding seasons of the spring and fall. Make use of it.

• Plan a garden wedding
• Plan a beach wedding
• Get married by the lake or river
• Rent a hall during daylight hours with ample windows so that a minimum of lights are required

Finding a location or facility that works in this way is not as hard as it may seem. I know a church whose north facing back wall of the sanctuary is mostly glass, looking out onto their own private garden. This facility rarely needs general lighting during daylight hours.

Of course, there is nothing like an outdoor wedding for beauty and unless the wedding or reception is held in the evening, there is no need for lights. Instead, time your ceremony so that the two of you are literally riding off 'into the sunset' on your departure. It is a picture perfect way to complete the public celebration of your wedding and begin your private celebration.

Greening Your Wedding: Think Local

Another way to naturally green your wedding is to think local. Here are a couple ways to do so:

• Choose a facility in the neighborhood where you and your loved ones live so most, if not all of the participants can walk. This will save gas and congestion issues. In urban communities like the boroughs of New York, and in small towns across America where families tend to live close to one another, it makes a lot of sense to find a local spot where a beautiful wedding and reception can be put together without requiring everyone one involved to travel across town.
• Invite only local guests: In our mobile society this might not be practical. However, less travel means a smaller carbon footprint.
• Commit to choosing neighborhood wedding professionals and resources such as flowers and produce where possible. This will save gas and congestion in your community, build relationships within your community, and will help your local economy.

For those of us who grew up in a mobile society, the idea of limiting our celebration to the local community seems extreme. But a wedding that celebrates the contributions and distinctives of its local community could be a truly memorable event!

Think Intimate

Those who want to reduce the carbon footprint of their wedding should think in terms of an intimate wedding celebration. Is it really necessary to throw a bigger party than that bride did last year? Instead show how much you care by thinking small - and local. It will save you money and resources. Besides think how much more you could do if you don't need to pay to feed (and in some cases, house) a ton of out of town guests.

• Perhaps you could rent a string quartet or a swing band (brass, reeds, etc)
• Save money and gas by personally delivering the invitations via bicycle or horse drawn carriage
• Build a gazebo in a family member's yard for the wedding and years of memories
• Create a wedding garden that you can enjoy for years to come
• Come up with a creative way to arrive at the wedding - can you say, rickshaw?

Have fun. An intimate wedding can be every bit as memorable as a big wedding and perhaps more. At the same time, the potential is there to cut down on the use of resources, traffic congestion, and the money you have to spend all at the same time.

Greening Your Wedding

One word: Plants

There is nothing greener than... well, greenery - live that is. It's beautiful and healthy for the environment. Here are a couple ideas to incorporate plants into your wedding celebration:

Buy live (potted) plants as centerpieces and accent pieces and then arrange for them to be planted afterwards: Have guests take the live centerpieces home. Give the larger accent plants to members of the wedding party who have room to plant them in their yard or maintain the potted plant in their home.

Have a planting ceremony: If you are getting married at a location where you can get permission, say Uncle Joe’s mini ranch that has an unused portion of the property or a long driveway, purchase saplings and have all each of your guests plant one after the new couple plants a special tree to symbolize the strength and vitality of the new relationship. It will beautify the property and after a few years maybe Uncle Joe will have a family Christmas Tree Farm!

Give seed wedding favors: Even if the situation does not allow for live plants in the wedding celebration, seed wedding favors are a great way to help to green the wedding. There are a number of options available but they range from specially shaped papers with seeds embedded that the guests simply covers with soil and waters for a floral burst, to seed packets.

Happy greening!

Reduce Your Wedding's Carbon Footprint

There has been much talk about this issue recently. And really, who doesn't want to take good care of the planet we live on? At the same time, we want our wedding to be a special time when we can pull out all the stops and celebrate.

How do you balance the two? Do you? Do you simply forget about the environment on your wedding day because, 'it is a special, once in a lifetime event?' If being a good caretaker of the earth is important then being wasteful seems a little selfish. Doesn't it?

No one person can do everything, but over the next few days I want to continue to throw out some options that could both protect the beauty of the planet and add a fun or personal touch to your wedding.

Today's option:

Arrive & Depart Cinderella Style: Reduce the carbon footprint of a wedding by arriving and departing in a horse drawn carriage. Imagine pulling away in a gorgeously restored enclosed carriage with you and your new spouse waving to your loved ones from behind heavy velvet curtains and the driver sitting high atop the carriage. Or perhaps an open carriage is more appealing? Personally, I would choose a petite carriage pulled by a pair of adorable miniature horses. The cute factor is so over the top that this one touch alone is sure to make certain the wedding is something that will be looked back on with fondness for a long time.

Sure, it is a small thing, but a few small things tend to add up!

Want more right away? Check out my article on creating a Garden Wedding!

Thanksgiving Message

We are so blessed.

Whatever our postition in life, if we are in a position to be thinking about a wedding that includes all the people who have been special in our lives, we have a lot to be thankful for.

I remember a bride several years ago who didn't seem to get this. No doubt she was wrapped up in the stress of the planning process and saw only all the demands that it put on her. It was understandable, but sad. I remember bringing up the question of the kinds of wedding favors she wanted to use to develop her decor and express her gratitude to those who had stood by her and her future husband over the years. But to her favors were nothing more than trinkets. Little more than stocking stuffers...

Sad.

The point of wedding favors is the same as the point of Thanksgiving. It is an opportunity to acknowledge all that has been done on our behalf - all that we have to be thankful for.

And we do have a lot to be thankful for.



Happy Thanksgiving!

Backyard Wedding Plans Save Green and Are Green

Hollywood has long extolled the virtues of backyard weddings. Don't believe me? Go rent copies of the movie Father of the Bride or Thirteen Going on Thirty, to name just a couple that come to mind. But did you know that a backyard wedding can save you money (or at least make certain that you get the most out of your money) and help the environment?

Let's tackle the second one first. The backyard wedding can help the environment because:

• When family and friends already live close-by a backyard wedding minimizes the need for people to drive, saving gas and congestion on the roads.
• Since backyard weddings are easier to mount during daylight hours of the long spring and summer days, less electricity is used.
• Most backyard weddings hold both the reception and the ceremony in the same area saving the need for extra driving.
• Garden weddings make use of the beauty of nature the owner has cultivated for their enjoyment anyway - or they bring in plants to landscape the area, creating a natural landscape that can be enjoyed and will create new oxygen for years to come.

A backyard nuptial celebration can save money for the new couple because:

• No venue rental.
• Usually less need for flowers to dress up the grounds.
• No need to hire wedding car - except, perhaps, for the 'get-away'.
• Decoration (landscaping) can be done by family and friends months before the event (depending on location).

Is your backyard not "nice enough" for a wedding? Dress it up. Spend some of the money that would otherwise be spent on venue rental to landscape the yard. If the yard is Mom or Dad's they might even be willing to spend a little more on landscaping or a gazebo for the event since they will have it to enjoy for a long time afterwards - a place you can always come back to to relive that glorious garden wedding day!

Cinderella Wedding Arrival Style

Cinderella wedding themes have been popular for a long time and I suspect they will continue to be popular for a long time to come - precisely because the theme resonates so deeply with how we feel about the beauty of our love. Toward that end brides often try to build a Cinderella themed wedding by giving out Cinderella themed wedding favors and using castle cake toppers. They commission castle shaped ice sculptures (as pictured to the left) and rent a sword for the groom and groomsmen to wear on their hip during the ceremony.

But... What if there was a way to take the Cinderella wedding theme to the next level? And what if by doing so you were also helping to cut back on the carbon footprint of your wedding?

Imagine arriving and later pulling away in a gorgeously restored enclosed carriage with yourself and your new spouse waving to your loved ones from behind the privacy of heavy velvet curtains and the driver sitting high atop the carriage. Or perhaps an open carriage is more appealing? Would that not make you feel truly like you had your fairytale ending?

Personally, I would choose a petite carriage pulled by a pair of adorable miniature horses. True, it is not as regal as a carriage drawn by Clydesdale's but the cute factor is way over the top and it would make the event one of the most memorable in a long time.

What better way to build a Cinderella themed wedding and reduce your carbon footprint than to use a horse drawn carriage for your arrival and get-away as horses burn zero fossil fuels!

The Most Basic Wedding Budgeting Tip

Before I go on, I feel the need to say something about how to save money with a wedding budget that I have said a hundred times in as many ways. Still, it is so important that it cannot be missed:

The first, and most important thing any couple can do to keep their wedding budget in line is to take the time to prioritize. They must stop and consider what elements they want in their wedding - especially if the budget is tight. It might be wiser to get married in a rose garden at the peak of the season if one is available than to spend any money hiring a florist so they can have that dream wedding cake. Or skip the cake, have Aunt Elie make her killer fudge torte served with drizzled chocolate and caramel sauce to serve the guests so the couple can spend more on flowers, or photography, or...

More than that, however, is to consider priorities within each discipline. Not everything is a matter of all or nothing. Sometimes it is a matter of considering the options. The more a couple can approach a professional knowing exactly what they want the smaller the chance they will be susceptible to "upsale" (a technique all sales people use to increase the sale) and they more they will be able to keep their wedding budget in line.

Save Money on the Wedding Cake

What is a wedding reception without a wedding cake? It is to the reception what the bouquet is to the ceremony - and more. More because it not only adds beauty to the room but it provides dessert as well! Indeed, to keep cost down many brides choose to skip the catered dinner completely in favor of cake and finger food because the wedding cake brings so much versatility to the wedding reception.

That does not mean, however, that no bride should ever consider how to save money on her wedding cake. Indeed, just a couple choices could make the difference of hundreds of dollars. That said, here are five suggestions for how to save money when ordering a wedding cake.

1. Choose Buttercream Icing: Many people look down their noses at buttercream icing, and too a large degree I don't blame them, often it is made with shortening and therefore tastes greasy. However, if you can find someone that makes their buttercream icing with real butter or white margarine (some less skilled bakeries will only use shortening because it is easier to work with because it holds up better, but only by a little bit) it will taste divine and, in the hands of an artisan, can look nearly as smooth as fondant - without the cost. Often the savings over fondant are in the ballpark of one dollar per slice.



2. Limit Icing Color: The natural color for icing is either white or ivory (depending on ingredients). If a bride wants the icing to be another color, the pastry chef will have to color the icing by hand and that will raise the price substantially.



3. Use the Top Tier to Serve Guests: Even wrapped expertly, cake stored in the freezer until the first anniversary will taste old and freezer burnt. Save money by using the top tier to feed the guests. The couple can always always return to the original bakery and order a small six or eight inch replica cake in time for their anniversary when the budget has recovered - and it will taste much better.



4. Limit Design: Every icing flower, animal, or swag has to be made by hand. That means higher labor costs and if you figure even at a minimal rate of twenty dollars and hour - and most charge much more for their time and acquired skill - the cost of a wedding cake could easily jump by two hundred dollars or more. Instead, provide fresh flowers (don't pay the pastry chef to go shopping for you), fresh fruit, or even silk flowers etc. Or, spend the money on vines, medallions, or monograms of crystal wedding cake jewelery that you will be able to use both on your wedding cake and interspersed with greenery and other decorative touches for years to come in your new home.



5. Flavor Options: This varies from one bakery to the next. Some bakeries charge extra for orders that want more than one flavor in the cake. Some will allow a different flavor for each tier (the tradition wedding cake has three tiers, large, medium, and small - each tier is made up of two or more layers depending on the bakery). I have never run into a bakery which will allow different flavors per layer without significantly increasing the cost as this would mean much more labor and waste. Check with your local bakeries for options.

A final note: If you are planning an outdoor wedding, think seriously about paying the extra money for fondant icing unless you know that it will be cold. Buttercream will hold up in many cases, but... Fondant is much more reliable in the heat and sun.

Save Money on the Food at Your Wedding

Food and celebration go hand in hand. I suppose it has always been that way. And there are few bigger reasons to celebrate than with food. But does that mean that a couple is required to host a formal dinner with the most expensive dishes even if they have to go into debt to finance it? Of course not. There are a number of options available to the couple who wants to incorporate food into their wedding celebration without breaking the bank:

1. Venue: Often weddings held in houses of worship for members of that community of faith are covered as people from the church often help out by preparing and serving the food. Under this scenario the couple would usually be responsible for the cost of the groceries and any tables, etc. they want that go beyond what the church or synagogue owns.
2. Grazing Stations: It is cheaper to serve lamb in grape leaves, or shrimp, or a crepe bar, or salmon in stations scattered around the reception than it is to pay for a sit down dinner - and it will not be the same-o, same-o reception that everyone else has mounted either!
3. Edible Wedding Favors: Incorporating edible wedding favors into wedding plans for the food is an easy way to trim the food budget
4. Scheduling: Avoid the dinner hour and a couple can cut back to light refreshments. What 'light refreshments' means varies depending on the context of the local customs.
5. Themed Weddings: Certain themed weddings, like a turn of the century ice cream social theme, enable a bride to limit the food naturally - to say, ice cream and Italian sodas. Know any barber shop quartets?

Of course a wise couple will mix and match these suggestions to create their own personal plan that is so uniquely theirs that no one will suspect the motivation was to save money. For example, create a Renaissance themed outdoor wedding with grazing stations under individual tents decked in bright colors in the mid afternoon. Serve gelato and Italian sodas along with a choice finger food for those lacking a sweet tooth and you have managed to put together a fun plan that is much less expensive than the traditional formal dinner - not to mention more memorable.

Military Brides Save on Wedding Dresses

I only just learned about this myself or I would have written about it sooner... Brides Across America http://www.bridesacrossamerica.com/ has arranged an opportunity for Military Brides to recieve free wedding dresses in honor of Veteran's Day. In most cases the event is held tomorrow, November 11th, but in few cases it is already past and at least one is not until the 16th according to their website.

Of course the wedding gown give-away has requirements and limitations. Be prepared to show your military ID including deployment papers. I have heard that they require that either the bride herself be in the military OR that the groom be deployed to Iraq or Afganistan, but I have not been able to verify that. Of course, you can be certain that they will want some assurance that the bride actually be a bride - in other words, that she is engaged.

As this is a give away, remember that stock might be limited so if you are interested do not delay as you can be certain everything is first come, first served. Still, this sounds like a great way to reinforce to our military personel how much they are valued by helping at least a few miltary brides to stretch their budget with a free wedding dress.

Tomorrow I will continue with the current series on ways to prepare for your wedding and protect your budget at the same time.

Wedding Budget: Music

The normal approach to providing the music at a wedding these days is to hire a disc jockey to do everything. This makes a lot of sense. After all, not only does a good DJ have far more music at their disposal than the rest of us but, in theory anyway, they are skilled at drawing crowds out of their chairs and into the celebration.

But what are the alternatives? What if a brides wedding budget just does not allow for the cost of a disc jockey. Does that mean that you have to skip music all together?

Of course, that is an option. I have been to more than a couple weddings that ignored music completely outside of the ceremony and they managed to be great celebrations. BUT most of us do not want to go that far. So what are the options?

• Electronic: Most everyone has an MP3 player of some sort. One possibility is to provide your wedding reception's wedding music by loading an MP3 player with the music you want to celebrate with, hook it too the sound system, hit shuffle, and then play. This will make certain the music played is the music you want to hear. Of course you won't have anyone to "read the audience" like a DJ would and it is difficult for people to make requests.
• Jam Session Wedding: In most cases the most meaningful wedding is not the one with the most polish on it. The most meaningful wedding is the one that celebrates with their community. Toward that end, have friends and family participate in providing the music - create a 'jam session' atmosphere for the celebration where musician friends can pitch in and everyone else can dance and sing.
• Book Early: A bride that wants to make use of a Disc Jockey or even a live band will have most success controlling their budget if they book months in advance. As with any professional, a bride will have to pay a premium to get what they want at the last minute.

No wedding has to have music and the lack of it will not ruin your wedding, but music sure adds a lot to a celebration. The trick is to find a way to have the wedding music without breaking the budget at the same time.

Wedding Budget Cuts: Flowers

The floral work in any wedding is used to create a warm, inviting setting for the ceremony and resulting celebration. It strategically covers harsh angles and industrial looking elements of the design of the venue.

Therefore, how or how much a bride wants to trim her wedding budget in the area of floral design all depends on how important the beauty of the moment is AND how beautiful the venue is already.

Which brings us to our tips on how to trim the budget on wedding flowers:

1. Choose a venue that needs little or no assistance in beauty. Get married on the beach. Use a friend or family member's beautifully manicured yard / grounds / elegant estate (indoor or out). Get married by a lake. Choose a beautiful church.
2. Use only flowers that are in season in the local area.
3. Mount the wedding during the Christmas season when everything is already decorated for the season.
4. Avoid Valentines Day or Mother's Day. The cost of flowers skyrockets due to higher demand on those days.
   
5. Coordinate with other brides holding their wedding the same day in the same location to share floral expenses.
   
6. If a close friend or relative has a flair for floral arrangement, tastes similar to the bride, and the willingness to pitch in purchase the flowers etc. they need at

• a floral supply store,
  
• an online flower vendor,
  
• or even somewhere like Costco (I would have never thought of it but a friend of mine did this for her daughter's wedding and everything was beautiful)!

No one should dictate how any wedding / bride uses flowers except the couple themselves based on the money they have to spend

Like every wedding discipline your professional wedding photographer is most likely to be able to provide the best possible results for a bride's big day. But sometimes the realities of life make it necessary to find ways to trim the budget. This can mean anything from cutting back on the wedding pictures we end up with a little bit to doing away with pictures entirely.

How much a couple cuts back is up to the couple and their budget. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Here are six ways to save money on wedding photography along with the known pitfalls:

1. Limit the hours the photographer is needed: I mentioned this yesterday. Since labor is one of the biggest costs of the photographer, by saving him / her time a bride can save a good amount of money. Avoid the temptation to have them follow the bride or groom as they prepare and simply have them meet the wedding party at the church in time to get the pictures the couple really wants. Compensate by having the attendants bring (and use digital cameras) as the last minute preparations take place and during the bulk (or even all) of the reception.
2. Check Craigslist to find affordable photographers – of course, look at their portfolio, references, and see if their personality clicks with yours to decide if they are a good choice for your wedding.
3. Post an ad at a local college or university. There are lots of young people who would love an opportunity to practice their craft at a wedding. The problem here is that a couple is likely to run into some very talented young people with no track record as well as some, well, not so talented people who really need to be doing something else.
4. Make your own wedding album. This can save hundreds of dollars. Make sure to research how best to preserve the photographs.
5. Go digital. Instead of a proof sheet (or book) you can get the 'photos' on CD. Then make use of an online photo editor/developer. The risk here is less control over the quality of the print – but then you can always get it printed again down the road when the budget is not so tight.
6. Go digital… and forget the professional all together, if a couple feels brave. Instead ask your guests to bring their digital camera and go ‘snap happy’. After returning from the honeymoon they can email all the pictures to an email address the couple specifies (I’d open a separate email address for this) and then they can use that online photo developer (like Shutterfly) to print their wedding pictures. The advantage is that angles and moments will be captured that one photographer would never catch. The disadvantage is that the quality will be diminished - especially in low lighting settings.

Ultimately the choice is up to each couple. Fifteen years down the road some people really cherish their wedding photos. Others never look at them. Will they in another fifteen years? I think that is up to the individuals which is why only the couple can decide how much to spend or not spend on their wedding photography.

Wedding Photography Elements

In yesterday's post I included a list of the photographs that most brides consider essential to capture the day. Now the question is how to accomplish this without spending as much on the wedding photography - or even is the wedding photography a place that the couple wants to cut back.

Assuming that the couple has decided to attempt to cut back in the area of the wedding pictures we need to consider what you are paying the photographer for:

• Technical Knowledge: This is obvious. It is also the least important aspect since there are any number of people qualified in this area. Still, to find someone that is really skilled a couple needs to look at a portfolio of ENTIRE WEDDINGS, not just a collage of the best of a variety of weddings. Take enough pictures and anyone can put together an album of great photos.


• Interpersonal Ability: A couple gets the best value from a photographer that sets them and their family at ease because the posed pictures will look most natural.


• Time and Labor: This is where you can save yourself the big bucks. If a couple keeps their photographer all day, it is going to cost more. That is obvious. Schedule the wedding day in such a way that it gets the photographer in and out and the price should be less. Is there a need to keep the photographer throughout the reception? Usually the first half hour is enough and some have found that the photographer need not be at the reception at all (see tomorrow).


• Popularity: Like anything else, the most popular photographers command the highest prices. Find one that sets the couple at ease, has good skill, and is relatively unknown and the couple should be able to save money.


• Memories: Ultimately, when we buy wedding photography we are buying a tangible recording of the wedding day. How much is that worth? Only the couple can decide that.

Tomorrow I will discuss options to dramatically cut the cost of wedding photography even more - if the couple is brave... or desperate.

Wedding Photography Checklist

A wedding photography checklist is essential as we prepare to consider how to save money on our wedding pictures. Perhaps this is something a bride will want to cut out all together - but then again, your wedding photography is the only tangible record we have of our big day. The cake might survive in the freezer until the first anniversary and, yes, the bride's crystal wedding cake jewelry can add a touch of romance to room decorations for years to come... but beyond that, the only record a couple has of their glorious wedding day celebration are the wedding pictures.

Look the checklist over and ask yourself how important each picture is: Do you care about having that instant / group recorded photographically? How important is it to you to have the pictures be high quality.

• An official portrait of the bride and groom in tux and gown
• The bride and groom at the alter during the wedding
• Bride and mother
• Bride and father
• The wedding party in totality
• Bride and her immediate family
• Bride and groom with bride's immediate family
• The groom and his immediate family
• Bride and groom with groom's immediate family
• Bride with her siblings
• Groom and his siblings
• Bride and her parents
• Groom and his parents
• Bride and groom with groom's parents
• Bride and groom with bride's parents
• Bride and groom together will all parents
• Groom and his mother
• Groom and his father
• Bride and groom with groom's grandparents
• Bride and groom with bride's grandparents
• Bride and groom with attendants
• Each member of wedding party walking down the aisle
• Bride coming down the aisle
• Bride's father leaving her at the altar
• Entire wedding party at the altar
• The exchanging of rings
• The saying of vows
• The kiss
• The bride and groom leaving the altar
• Bride getting ready for the wedding
• Bride and bridesmaids (individually or as a group [or both])
• Attendants and mothers getting ready for the wedding
• Groom prepping for the wedding
• Groom and groomsmen (individually or as a group [or both])
• Bride and attendants leaving for the ceremony
• Bride and groom arriving at the reception
• Toasts - best man, father of the bride, etc.
• The wedding cake
• The cutting of the cake
• Bride and groom's first dance
• Tossing of the bouquet
• Guests dancing
• Guests signing the guest book
• Bride and groom departing the reception

There are forty-five items on this checklist - and many of them represent multiple photographs. Conservatively, there are at least one hundred and fifty pictures that most brides consider to be "essential".

Of course, the question is; to stay within budget which items on the wedding photography checklist are most important to you. After that question is answered, then we can talk about ways to save money on wedding photography because only then will a bride have the information she needs to make an intelligent decision about what would be best for her wedding.

Save Money on Wedding Dress

Since the wedding dress is one of the first items most brides purchase for the wedding day - and of necessity if they have to special order it - and considering how expensive a wedding dress can be, it follows that it is also a natural place to begin reigning in the wedding budget. After all, if you can get a bridal gown that is just as beautiful (sometimes more beautiful) for a fraction of the cost isn't it worth it?

Four places to look in your search for that perfect wedding dress without breaking the bank:

• Charity Sales / Auctions: Some charities have turned to accepting wedding gowns that they can resell to raise money. As a result you have the opportunity to buy dresses that are usually either new or worn once for a fraction of their original price. Call around. Check the Internet for a sale near you.
• Sample Sales: Do you have a high end wedding dress manufacturer close by? Check with them to see when they have their annual sample sale. Likewise, bridal stores usually find it necessary to clear out their samples along with anything left over of last years stock. If you are able to wade through sheer numbers of dresses, you can sometimes find some gems.
• Grandma: You've heard the old saying, "Something borrowed, something blue..." This is a great opportunity to import some family meaning into the wedding by borrowing the wedding dress grandma wore all those years ago - or mom, or aunt, or big sis. You get the idea. If you can find something that works for you this way you obviously save huge amounts of money.
• EBay: Let's face it. Most bridal gowns are never worn more than once so if you can find one on EBay you could save a lot of money.

Yes, it's easier to just go down to the bridal shop and special order one. But if the budget for your wedding is less than expansive one of these four options for finding a wedding dress at a bargain price just might be the ticket.

More Ways to Save Money on a Wedding Venue

A couple weeks ago I wrote about a way to save money and get more value from your wedding budget by using your own property to create a party green on which a wedding might be hosted.

Of course don't forget to consider parking issues. A couple that I heard of recently solved the problem by having their guests park at a local high school and having the guest ferried via horse and buggy. I heard of another that hired a trolley for a couple hours. Other's have simply used the van's from their church.

Which brings me to the second option that comes to mind when a couple needs to save money on their wedding venue (often one of the most expensive elements of a wedding): Many who are active in their local church or synagogue can often gain use of their worship facility for the wedding for a nominal fee or sometimes free!

Likewise, sometimes city or county parks are available inexpensively – though noise may be a factor.

An often overlooked resource (probably because so many are in poor repair) are recreation centers – some of the newer recreation centers have meeting rooms that are as nice as hotel ballrooms. I can even thinking of one with a nice, private courtyard!

Furthermore, depending on the regulations and private ownership issues in the area a beach wedding or ceremony next to a lake or river can save a couple lots of money they would otherwise spend on the wedding venue.

Reception Venue: Ideally, hold the wedding and reception in two different parts of the same place. For example, have tents with tables set up behind and to the side of where the ceremony is held and have the guests bring their chairs from the ceremony. This will save money on a separate location and renting extra chairs!

Honeymoon Get-a-way Activities: Volcano

No Hawaiian honeymoon is complete without exploring the volcano that formed the island. If you are on Kauai this means exploring the many waterfalls and lush vegetation of the inner island. On Oahu it means a hike involving the Diamond Head crater.

These are wonderful things to do. Think of the panoramic views that are available from high upon one of the volcanic mountain sides as you look down on the lush landscape and the gorgeous beaches below.

Depending on what exactly a honeymoon couple wants to see and experience, there are a number of ways to explore the volcanoes (all except two on the Big Island are considered dormant or extinct) - everything from hiking tours, to ATV tours, to Mountain biking tours, to horseback tours - they are all options. Just be sure to investigate where each individual tour goes and what they do. Hopefully they are all great (obviously I haven't been able to take every tour in Hawaii) but while some horse tours ride along ridge lines with vast panoramic views - others explore valleys.

Of course, we can't forget about the two active volcanoes on the island of Hawaii. Mauna Loa (sound familiar? Think Macadamia nuts. You can visit the factory just outside of Hilo!) and Kilauea. Both are considered active, but right now all the visible action is on Kilauea. There you can currently see lava flows (this changes from day to day, but the active lava eruption has lasted for a long time now.

Go to Volcanoes National Park. The entrance fee, I believe, is about ten dollars but it is good for multiple entrances for a week. There you can get current (within fifteen minutes) information about the volcano, hike among steam vents, look down into the massive caldera, hike lava tubes, see lush rain forest and a wide variety of landscapes trying to recover after being wiped out by a lava flow.

Volcanoes National Park is approximately thirty to forty minutes southwest of Hilo, making it convenient - and as of a couple weeks ago you could only approach the lava flow from outside the park, on the Hilo side down by the beach.

Of course, there are tours available that will take you to see the volcano and surrounding sights: The most common is the coach tour. It has the advantage of a guide who knows where things are, the ability to get out and do a bit of hiking, and the convenience of not having to drive. For my money though, I'm more inclined to say the air tours of the volcanoes are worth the money because, if it is possible to see a lava flow an air tour will be most likely to be able to make it happen as they can fly in at the angle that will give everyone the best possible view!

If even one of the honeymooning couple members are adventurous or scientifically inclined then this is a must do a Hawaiian honeymoon adventure.

Hawaiian Honeymoon Activities: Luau

Of course if you want to think about planning your wedding - apart from your honeymoon, you can always check the older entries on this blog, or go to http://www.excitingweddingfavors.com/ and either go to the fun ideas page (upper left hand corner), or simply sign up for the free wedding planning magazine "Stepping Stones to Your Dream Wedding". In the meantime we are continuing our series on Hawaiian Honeymoon Activities.

In my opinion no Hawaiian honeymoon would be complete without at least one luau.

And I say that as one that would much rather do than sit. But then, a luau is an interactive experience of the islands. It is a dinner show. That's for certain. But with the traditional Hawaiian foods, as well as the opportunities to learn to dance the hula, to learn to open a coconut, weaving, lei making, etc. under the evening sky in the warm air of the tropics, there was much to do.

Of course once the show began... wow. So much history coming alive in such an entertaining manner with dances and customs from across the Polynesian islands.

Some even got temporary tattoos!

Yes, a Luau is absolutely a must do on your Hawaiian honeymoon getaway.

Honeymoon Get-a-way Activities: Horseback Riding

For those of you who are anxious to get back to the act of actually planning the wedding day itself, don't worry. I will be back to that soon. That is the bulk of what I do. But isn't your honeymoon just as much a part of your wedding celebration as the ceremony and reception?

It should be.

It's just the personal celebration. It's the part you do with your new spouse alone.

As a result, just like you plan a variety of activities for your wedding day - ceremony, intermediate activities such as carriage rides or vintage ice cream social while you have your photography done, dance, cake cutting, garter belt, etc. - you also want to plan some fun activites for your Hawaiian honeymoon.

In my opinion, little is as romantic as a horseback trek into the Hawaiian contryside. You will see things that you just won't see from your convertible at 65 miles per hour.

My adventure started sitting inside a quaint little country store / coffee shop where we waited for our guide. As we sipped our drinks we browsed books and Hawaiian made art.

This picture is of me sitting on the porch with my convertible in the background.

Then the guide showed up in a four wheel drive van which hauls us to the stables. During the five minute drive we see panoramic scenes that are simply breathtaking.

The guides were great. They matched the horses with both the rider's build and riding ability. And they kept great control over all of the horses so everyone had a fun and safe experience.

Along the route, we saw avocados on trees that were four times the size of anything we see in the store. We tasted a sweet and juicy pomelo that was as big as my head. We saw elephant ears in this part of the rain forest that were bigger than any I have seen anywhere else on the islands. We rode along (and through) streams, up a canyon, and through fields where farmers worked much like they did many years ago.

Of course, each outfit offers a different kind of ride. This is only my own experience. Some offer rides across high ridges offering vast, panoramic views of the island from horseback. Some may take you to a seculded waterfall and pool where you can stop and swim. Some are on working ranches. It is worth looking at a wide variety of provider for your Hawaiian horseback activity.

There is no question that I would highly recomend a horseback ride as a very worthwhile adventure for any Hawaiian honeymoon.

Hawaiian Honeymoon Activity: Snorkling

I wish I had pictures - I really wish it do, but I don't own an underwater digital camera and you don't want to see the pictures the disposable underwater cameras provide, they just don't do it justice.

As I said last time, we went on a snorkeling trip with a couple of honeymooners. It was fun to watch them and see first hand how such a trip worked out for them considering that it has been... well, let's just say it's been a few years since my own honeymoon.

It was especially instructive considering that one of them (I won't say which for the sake of their anonymity) did not know how to swim.

Really.

I have known people who skipped a snorkeling trip because they couldn't swim. Big mistake.

There is no way you want to miss out on seeing the coral reefs teeming with colorful sea life dancing in and out of view like a top quality Broadway show.

You just don't.

I am serious. One of them could not swim, but they had a great time. The tour provided life vests and those foam "noodles" along with masks and fins. So the one that swam helped the other and they were able to be a part of the adventure with the rest of us.

To see the eels and parrot fish, yellow tang, butterfly fish, trumpet fish, surgeon fish, sea turtles, dolphins swimming just feet below or from us. It was gorgeous.

Now how do you overcome the photo problem on your honeymoon snorkeling adventure? I learned - once again from our honeymooning couple who were on the ball. They took a trip down to a local scuba and snorkeling shop where they were able to rent an underwater digital camera on a 24 hour basis. Smart move. Now they have an entire disk of great pictures (at least in theory) and I have my memories and a few grainy pictures from a disposable.

Next time I will - and I would advise anyone planning a Hawaiian honeymoon to budget a few extra dollars to preserve the memory.

What to bring: A good tan and lots of sunscreen (the sun is strong in Hawaii). Cover up. Towel. Sun glasses. Footwear that can get wet such as flip flops. Wear your swimwear as most have no place to change.

Our tour provided a snack between snorkeling locations (they took us to two locations for variety) of fresh seasonal fruit, chips, and beverage.

Honeymoon Activities

The weather is turning cold... making it a perfect time to plan your honeymoon - to somewhere warm.

I recently returned from recharging my batteries on the islands. There is nothing like it. Can I say the Hawaiian islands are a romantic place to honeymoon? Or is that redundant? Frankly, anywhere you go with the love of your life can be romantic, but there is something special about Hawaii.

And there are so many Hawaiian honeymoon activities possible!

I could be happy just sitting on the beach with a good book... The warmth of the moist ocean air caressing me in a light breeze. My husband nearby (getting restless - he doesn't sit well). That alone is enough for me, but...

On our first day we discovered that our next door neighbors (the condo adjacent to ours) were honeymooners. They were so cute - and so in love. She was quiet but oh so sweet. He gregarious - never met a stranger. They were from New York and had never been anywhere so open - they were out to experience it all!

They went on an ATV trip into the back country of the island. They hired an airplane to buzz Kilauea and get some awesome pictures looking down into the spew of lava. Of course they went to a luau (an absolute must). They talked of taking an inter-island cruise to get on the ground on more of the islands. Mai tais at sunset, exploring the open air markets, dining on the deck with the waves lapping the shore twenty feet away.

We went on a snorkeling trip with them. I'll write about that next.

Save Money on Next Year's Wedding Venue

Okay, so this year's wedding season is winding down. It's been a wonderful year - like every year I see many of the same venues over and over... and many new and stunning venues too! Truly, the standbys are fine if a bride has no other options, but the new and inventive are always more memorable.

But with the exception of the handful of fall and winter brides and grooms out there, it is time for most of us to begin thinking about next year... Besides, if you are in that spot where "the question" is soon to be, but not yet popped, then you have no choice but to look toward next season!

With the news about the economy some might be concerned about the cost of the wedding - much less the wedding venue.




No need! Seriously. Most people have access to some open space. It might be their own yard. It might be a relatives yard. Perhaps someone has a small vineyard you can use.

No matter how ugly it might appear right now a little elbow grease and some imagination can create a real extraordinary wedding venue.

I've seen an old dirty barn swept and turned into a silken cathedral with fabric hung from the lofts to the floor.

I've seen an old horse pasture cleaned up, fresh grass planted, white chairs and tables arranged, turned into a storybook setting wedding venue - even the flower girl was led out on a miniature pony!

Clean up a field overlooking a creek - or perhaps just a view of the valley!

Use a backdrop of a stand of tall trees.

Really it's not that hard:

• Find a space that will accommodate your celebration.
• Use imagination to see past the weeds and debris.
• Plant grass, or lay a stone surface.
• Trim bushes, plant accent plants.
• Build / buy arbor or gazebo if desired.
• Rent chairs, tents.
• Have your garden wedding celebration.

It's much cheaper than renting a wedding venue and if you do it on your own property you get to benefit for years to come!

How to Choose a Wedding Professional

One of the reasons I love being in the wedding industry is that you get the opportunity to see how creative people can be. Sometimes it's the bride's uncle George who used his glass blowing forge to create special stemware for the occasion. Sometimes it is a cousin who is a lighting design specialist and turns a otherwise drab venue into a visual adventure. Often it is the horticultural skills of the parents who have turned a pasture into the kind of picturesque dancing lawn reminiscent of Narnia and it's magical creatures.

Practicably, it is usually one of the wedding professionals who create something exceptional. This is not surprising, they are the one group of people associated with any given wedding who have the skill and experience to be able to create something memorable.

So why do you so often see weddings that look little different than the wedding prior to it? There are, of course, a number of reasons. The most common reason, however, is that the professional can only do what the couple is willing to pay them to do - and that is not just a matter of money!

If a bride, comes into a pastry chef's place of business with a picture of her friends wedding cake and says, "I want my cake to look just like that." The professional either has to turn down the job or create a duplicate of someone else's (often someone many times removed) creativity. If the pastry chef is good it will look beautiful, but it won't have that special something that helps set the event apart.

Unfortunately this happens a lot more often than one might imagine. Brides dream big, but when they get down to specifics they tend to choose what they know. This is understandable, but it is not the best way to approach a wedding professional.

The best way to approach any wedding professional is to first find one whose personal style matches the tastes of the bride and groom. We're talking the kind of person who the bride (and / or groom) can comfortably think, "It doesn't matter what they do, I know I'm gonna love it!"

This isn't easy, but planning the biggest party of your life is not supposed to be easy.

Then, having found the artisan whose work the bride can trust the process turns into an open negotiation. By this I mean, the bride casts her vision for the professional - for the purpose of illustration we will stay with the pastry chef - and then listens as the professional responds with how they might be able to make it work. And the dialog continues.

Of course, the ugly issue of money comes into play. That's another matter - a much misunderstood matter, but I'll write about that another time.

The point is, find a professional you can trust, tell them where you want to go with your design and then listen. The truth is, they know what is possible and not possible in their discipline. More, they know what will raise your costs a lot and what will give you the biggest impact for your dollar.

Just like Uncle George, the bride chose to let him make the stemware largely because she knew what he was capable of, and that is where the possibility of true creativity comes in.

Olympic Wedding Planning Tip

First things first... Congratulations Michael Phelps!

For those who have been so buried in wedding plans and buying autumn wedding favors to know what I am talking about, Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who just this past weekend became the individual to win the most gold medals in one Olympic games. The old record holder was also a swimmer by the name of Mark Spitz.

Amazing. His hard work and dedication, combined with his talent has paid off. But...

There is no way he would have ever accomplished this feat without his support people. He is in the limelight, but all the people working quietly in the background are what enabled his work and talent to pay off.

If they weren't there, if he had been enough of a prima donna that his coaches, trainers, teammates, and family didn't want anything to do with him... He might not have even reached the Olympics, much less set the record for the most victories in a Olympiad.

What does this have to do with wedding planning?

Everything!

The wedding is, for most people, the biggest party they will ever throw. There is no way they should be trying to do it alone. But far too often brides shoot themselves in the foot by treating their support people poorly. Don't do it.

There is no need. Just like the winner of the gold medal, the bride in the wedding is the center of attention. She doesn't need to remind anyone of that fact or treat anyone poorly - all that does is drive people away and diminish the celebration of the new marriage.

More Strange Beauty Tips

Well, "tomorrow" became Friday - and late on Friday at that. Those things happen. It wish they wouldn't, but they do.

Anyway, I promised you more last cheap beauty tips that a bride can make use of when things happen while she is getting ready for the big day and doesn't have time or doesn't want to spend all day running to the store for this or that.

• Straight Eyelashes? Find some waterproof mascara. Use your blow dryer to heat your eyelash curler. The heat will help your eyelashes to bend more easily and the waterproof mascara will hold the curl better than regular mascara.
• Crumbling Eyeliner? It can be incredibly frustrating when last minute wedding preparations are creating a general harried feeling all around a bride and her eyeliner pencil starts to fall apart. But don't worry. Simply have someone put it in the freezer for a quarter hour or so and go on with the rest of your preparations. When it comes out it should work just fine.
• Blotchy skin? A stressed bride is often horrified to wake up on the morning of the big day with blotchy irritated skin. Fortunately, the solution is as close as your kitchen cupboards. Get a tea bag of green tea, steep it for a couple minutes, let it cool for a couple minutes, then dab it all around the irritated areas. The antioxidants in the green tea work to reduce the inflammation.
• Unsightly Veins? Believe it or not, Preparation H will help. The reason is simple. It is a vasoconstrictor, if the veins shrink enough, no one will see them.
• Broken Blister? A dab of Listerine will cleanse the wound enough that you should be able to go about your business throughout the course of the wedding celebration.
• No Shaving Cream? It's not uncommon for a bride to get to the church only to be horrified to realize that she needs to touch up her shaving job (or do it all) but didn't bring shaving cream. In that case, she can substitute hair conditioner. It will provide the lubrication she needs and makes her skin feel silky smooth.
• Splinter? A splinter can be annoying and in a stressful situation like a wedding that little tiny piece of wood can be the figurative "straw that broke the camel's back". The solution? Just drop a dab of Elmer's glue on the splinter, let it dry then peel it off. In most circumstances it will take the splinter with it.

Ideally, no last minute disasters happen. But we don't live in an ideal world. It is wise for a bride to be prepared with a wedding day survival kit, but even with one tips like these can rescue a day from life's little annoyances and help a woman to present herself as the beautiful bride she always dreamed of being.

Strange Beauty Tips

Well, the wedding season is winding down. It's not over. Not by a long shot, but it is slowing down enough that I have a few minutes to sit down at the computer finally and update my blog.

So, thinking about what would be useful to most brides at this point - true, there are always brides at every stage of wedding planning because weddings happen all year around, and even if they didn't the globe has a northern and southern hemisphere meaning that when summer is winding down here, winter is on it's way there - still, recognizing that most of my readers are from the northern hemisphere and that the peak of wedding season is spring and summer, most active brides that are not already married soon will be. So... what would be most useful?

Probably some solutions to the kind of problems that come up at the last minute! Things like, what do you do when you wake up on your wedding day and find that the tanning spray your aunt Marge swore by left your skin streaky? Suddenly stuffed up and don't have decongestants? What do you do if you realize your arm pits look too dry and flaky for that sleeveless dress?

• Last minute Zits? No bride wants to walk down the aisle with a pimple on the end of her nose. Put just enough toothpaste on it to cover the pimple, let it absorb the oil for fifteen minutes so the pimple won't continue to build throughout your big day and then wash off.
• Eyebrows uncooperative? Mist a new toothbrush with hairspray and comb your eyebrows into place.
• Dull eyelashes? A touch of petroleum jelly combed into the eyelashes is an old trick that can take a bride's lashes from dull to sexy in a moment for virtually no cost!
• Congested without chemical decongestants? Try eating something spicy! A good, spicy, salsa or strong mint will often do the trick.
• Flaky Pits? Don't sweat that sleeveless wedding gown. Exfoliate your pits with a gentle face scrub.
• Streaking Tan? No need to worry. Simply powder a loofah with baking powder and buff the streaks away.

There are so many more tricks. Maybe tomorrow I'll add a few more that I've gathered over the years. Of course, in the meantime don't hesitate to go to www.ExcitingWeddingFavors.com for more fun and useful ideas.

Wedding White: Untangling the Issue of Color

When we think of a wedding gown in the western world we naturally tend to think of the white wedding dress. Truthfully it can be stunning seeing a gorgeous woman make her appearance in an elegant white wedding gown.

However, with so many other choices available the question is naturally raised, "Why is white the predominate color among wedding dresses. Should it be?"

Really there are three legs upon which the tradition of the white wedding gown rests within the western culture; tradition, symbolism, and beauty. A wise bride will take a few minutes to analyze each of these foundational concepts in an effort to determine what is best for her:

• 
  Tradition: It astonishes most to learn that the tradition that dictates that brides be adorned in a white wedding gown is not very old at all. In fact, most agree, that the tradition only goes back as far as Queen Victoria in 1840 who wore white as a show of her wealth since pure white fabric was expensive to make and obviously impractical to keep clean. Naturally, over the years as more and more families could afford the opulence of such an extravagant dress (This was most clearly seen in the 1950's as the post World War II economic boom hit and Hollywood began to produce glamorous stars) the practice was set.
• 
  Symbolism: In western civilization the white wedding dress has come in the past several decades to be representative of purity as opposed to reflecting wealth as in Queen Victoria's case. Usually the symbolism refers to the bride herself, but sometimes the connotation is broadened to embrace the spotlessness of the matrimony or the marriage vows.
• 
  Beauty: Truly, a white wedding gown that seems to glisten with radiance can be dazzling. Likewise, there is something stylish and proper about white - I suspect it goes back to how tricky it is to keep clean - either a pure white dress or simply a white shirt. At least it speaks subconsciously to us of class, for a man or woman of upbringing would have the etiquette and education necessary to keep white formal wear looking fine throughout the gala where those not trained in the finer things of life would not. At least that is what some part of our brain or upbringing wants to believe.

But what if a specific bride does not wear white well? Of course, that is a personal question. Just the same, the problem is legitimate. Is it necessary to spend the biggest day of one's existence wearing something that does not flatter one's appearance? We have all seen brides in white who appeared washed out and even harsh merely because of the white dress as compared to her already pale complexion. If it were me, I would not hesitate to ditch the white wedding dress in favor of another color that better enhanced the beauty of the bride.

Is the Pillared Wedding Cake Construction For You?

Pillared wedding cakes are among the most popular of wedding cake construction style. Indeed, this style can be used to create a stunning centerpiece for a wedding reception. The question, though, is whether or not pillared wedding cake construction styles are appropriate for any particular wedding.

To answer this question, it is useful to consider the advantages and disadvantages of the pillared wedding cake style.

Pros

• Added height provides drama - the wedding cake is normally the centerpiece of the design scheme for the wedding reception. A pillared wedding cake construction adds anywhere from a few inches to more than a foot of height to a wedding cake helping it to become the focal point of the wedding reception it is designed to be.


• Particularly useful to make a small wedding cake look bigger – a wedding cake that serves a hundred people or less might not look all that impressive without the added height of a pillared construction.


• Allows more decorations on each tier of the cake – For a bride that wants more surface space for decorations (regardless of whether it is elegant crystal wedding cake jewelry, a series of themed cake toppers, fresh flowers, fruit, or some creation she wants to commission the pastry chef to sculpt) the pillared wedding cake construction is worth considering because it allows space to add decorations on each pillared tier of the cake.

Cons

• Extra surface area means added decorating cost to the wedding cake – Extra decorations means extra labor. Extra flowers or fruit can be expensive and a bride will still have to pay the pastry chef to arrange the flowers or fruit on the cake. Note: Since a pastry chef’s reputation is dependant on the appearance of the wedding cake, do not count on them allowing the florist or the bride’s aunt Jane to add to the cake later – of course, once the pastry chef has gone the cake is yours to do with as you choose… as is the risk.


• Less stable – If there are going to be young children or animals at the wedding, or if the cake will need to be placed in a high traffic area, or if there is a relative famous for drinking way too much, way to early, then a pillared wedding cake construction might not be the right choice. The added height of the pillars makes the cake more liable to collapse and while that might win some money on America’s Funniest Home Videos, most would prefer to avoid it at their wedding.


• Not Normally for Do-It-Yourselfers - Stacking a pillared wedding cake is not terribly difficult, if you know what you are doing. But the placement of each pillar is critical and, depending on the size of the cake, can be unforgiving. If a pillar is placed in the cake that later needs to be changed a hole is punched that will have to be patched and may create instability in the cake. It will, at least, make the decorating process more difficult because a patch is never as smooth as the original icing.

Is a pillared wedding cake construction for your wedding? That is for you to decide. The upside in drama is huge but the risk is large as well. It all depends on the couple’s comfort level with the risk and style choices.

Stacked Wedding Cakes

If you’re like most brides to be you’ve thought a lot about your wedding cake. But have you thought about your wedding cake construction options? In short, besides for appearance, why choose a stacked wedding cake over one with separator plates and pillars, or a cake stand?

When we talk about a stacked wedding cake we mean the traditional tiered wedding cake with each tier placed directly atop the next largest one with the smallest tier resting on the top. This style is popular for many reasons:

• A stacked wedding cake can be beautiful. It offers an opportunity for continuity from on tier to the next that is unmatched by any other options for constructing your wedding cake. Imagine a trailing floral pattern snaking up the side of the wedding cake from one tier around to the next. Or perhaps a forest glen themed cake with the image of a water fall cascading from one level to the next. If the cake wasn’t stacked this opportunity would not normally exist.


• If your pastry chef knows their business it is one of the most stable styles of wedding cake display.


• A stacked wedding cake offers perhaps more room for creativity than most other construction styles. Imagine a stack of cakes that resemble a pile of gifts. Imagine an octagonal tier atop a paisley shaped tier. The direct connection between tiers allows the structural stability for your pastry chef to go wild with your design ideas.


• A stacked wedding cake is better suited for the use of crystal wedding cake jewelry decorations that are designed to accent the entire cake than other styles of wedding cake display.
  

Cons

• A stacked wedding cake is only as tall as the combined height of the cake itself. Thus, if the guest count (number of servings) is small the wedding cake might be limited in its dramatic effect.


• It is difficult to assemble – really! Just setting one cake on top of the next largest will usually result in disaster. There are techniques involved in both the creating of the stability and in the actual act of stacking the cakes without destroying the beauty of the icing. And yes, believe it or not some bakeries do not provide set up. If a bride chooses to use a bakery that does not a provide set up and the person in charge of the cake does not have experience doing so then the stacked wedding cake option is probably not a good choice.
  

A stacked wedding cake is a wonderful choice if the selection fits the brides’ specific situation. If it does not… no worries. There are other forms of wedding cake construction that will serve just fine.

Country Club Weddings

Is a country club a good choice for your wedding? The answer to this question is not as simple as whether country clubs are good or bad. It is a matter of the couple's priorities. As a result a country club wedding might be a horrible choice for one couple and a great choice for another.

Advantages:

• Manicured landscape
• Well maintained facilities
• Specially designed facilities – gazebos, banquet rooms
• Adequate parking and restroom facilities
• Convenience / Lower stress levels - This is because, often country clubs offer packages that include catering and cake at least and often many or all of the traditional wedding elements. This saves you time and stress arranging everything yourself.
  

Disadvantages:

• The chance of hearing someone nearby yell, “Fore!” just as the pastor asks, “Do you take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife?” during the ceremony. I've seen it happen.
• Elevated prices / low quality elements. The country club that offers package deals including catering, wedding cake, photography, DJ services, or any other element of your wedding either has to serve as a middle man, which means you are paying them to put everything together. It could work a number of ways; they might pay their suppliers a retainer to be available when they need their services. Or they have suppliers who give them a volume discount, but often these types of arrangements result in less than exemplary workmanship. In any case, the standards are that of the coordinator, not yours.
• It is never wise to let someone else choose your wedding photographer. He or she not only has to be able to work a camera, they also have to be able to set you and your party at ease and that is a personality thing that only you can decide.
• Due to the institutional nature of using a big venue that hosts special events for a lot of groups, if something like your crystal wedding cake jewelry is not claimed at the right place and time, it could easily get lost in the shuffle - and the bride is out an important keepsake.
• The problem is that unless you have recently attended a wedding at that country club set up in the exact same way as yours is, then you have no idea how good or bad any of the elements are. The cake might look nice but taste like sawdust plastered with sweetened lard. The DJ might not do anything more than play his or her standard wedding music – even if it’s thirty years old!
• Furthermore, the country club is going to employ a waitstaff that does not necessarily specialize in wedding events. For example, I once attended a wedding that, when the wedding cake was brought out to be served it was obvious that the staff had received zero instruction in how to cut a wedding cake.
• There are often hidden charges like janitorial, bar tending, parking, etc.
• There may well be other wedding parties bouncing around and with potentially competing sound levels or space issues.
• Doesn't maintain a particularly strong religious or ethnic theme if that is important.

These are just a few of the issues that any bride needs to consider before choosing a country club as their wedding venue. All in all getting married at a country club can be a beautiful event, if the couple has considered the challenges before hand and decided what is important to them.

Surprising Leap Day Advice for Brides

If you are just beginning the wedding planning process, as we discussed yesterday, February 29th is the perfect time to plan, to sketch out what her ideal wedding and wedding reception would look like.

But what about the bride who has been hard at her wedding planning for quite some time? What about the bride who already knows down to the specific elements of design how she wants her wedding day to look?

For those who fall into these categories, the best thing a bride (or couple) could do on Leap Day is to go do something physical to help burn off some steam and stress. Seriously.

• Go skiing - the snow is great this year pretty much all across the country.
• Go to an indoor pool and swim laps - then hang out in the sauna or hot tub.
• If the weather cooperates, go for a bike ride.
• Take a trip to the coast and walk on the beach.

The trick is to do pretty much anything physical - and make a point of not thinking about the wedding plans. The more an individual works their body, the more stress and tension will melt away and the more prepared they will be to take on the tasks ahead.

Besides, a day of physical activity will bring anyone that much closer to their weight loss goals so they will look like they hope to on their wedding day!

Making use of February 29th in this way will also benefit a couple in a manner that few people anticipate - especially if the couple spends the day in physical activity (such as skiing or beach combing) together. How? By taking a day away from the demands of life - such as wedding planning - and doing something together, as a couple!

That's right. You can build your marriage into something stronger than it might otherwise have been if you can set you wedding planning aside for one day and enjoy some strenuous activity together. Laugh. Run. Play. Build your marriage before the wedding.

You can worry about the toasting glasses on March 1st. Exciting Wedding Favors and Accessories will still be there for a couples at home shopping convenience. In the meantime, the best thing a bride who has been hard at work with her planning can do with the extra day that leap year provides it is to get out and do something physical that will leave them relaxed and refreshed.